Spring bursts to-day, For Christ is risen and all the earth’s at play.

Flash forth, thou Sun, The rain is over and gone, its work is done.

Winter is past, Sweet Spring is come at last, is come at last.

Bud, Fig and Vine, Bud, Olive, fat with fruit and oil and wine.

Break forth this morn In roses, thou but yesterday a Thorn.

Uplift thy head, O pure white Lily through the Winter dead.

Beside your dams Leap and rejoice, you merry-making Lambs.

All Herds and Flocks Rejoice, all Beasts of thickets and of rocks.

Sing, Creatures, sing, Angels and Men and Birds and everything.

All notes of Doves Fill all our world: this is the time of loves.

Easter, it breaks the back of winter and with it throughout all religion it speaks of an awakening after a great sleep and slumber. It is the time of bonnets, bows, about Easter Parades, and of course, bunnies; soft cuddly bunnies. Were it that religion were soft and cuddly like bunnies. Were it that religion was all about bows and bonnets. Were it that religion was always positive and never negative.

A young man came to me recently. He lives in bayou country. It is all he has known; that culture, that beautiful bayou. He hunts, he fishes, and he plays music. He travels to the city to play his music. Once he was the traditional faith of his fathers and heard the mass. Then he followed a path into the church of the deep-south. He heard the conversation about love. The preaching was strong and choirs grand. A leader in his church said love the sinner but hate the sin. It is an abomination to offend God’s law! That abomination would send “them” to Hell by the God of judgment. That homosexual at the college had to be expelled – it is an offense against God. They said that the Bible told them so.

This young man stammered and stuttered and looked around the room. He explained and explained and explained. His explanations seemed to circle themselves like a knot being tied; tighter and tighter without a discernible end. He looked up and asked, “Is suicide a sin?” He explained and explained and explained without end or point. Is suicide a sin? I responded but briefly with trepidation having lost my own daughter to suicide; the unspoken death. And he explained and explained and glanced about the room. He came from the bayou; he went to church; he was good and he explained. No, suicide is not a sin as such; for suicide is from a soul that is sad and sick and at odds with one’s own nature. A true and loving God does not condemn such illness; even desperation and profound sadness but rather weeps when he witnesses such profound sorrow. At that hour and that moment this young man was not there yet – he was searching rather than ending.

Then gently, like the stone of the tomb being set aside, he looked up, “I have never said this to any other human being…I am gay and always have been.” He explained and explained and explained that he had never acted on his orientation. He stayed in the closet. But when he heard the hatred that spewed forth by the leader of his church his inner voice said, “It is me he hates.” He was changed, those words were his crucifixion. He began to gently weep. This week was Good Friday, his crucifixion and Easter his resurrection. He was seeking and he found the truth about Easter.

I pointed out that the real truth of Jesus is found in the Gospels. That the real truth about Jesus was not found or bound in hatred but in love. That Jesus was clear and specific about his judgment. He judges hatred, he judges greed, he judges those that take instead of give, those that cast out instead of inviting in; he does judge but he judges hated and harm. This young man discovered Easter that afternoon. Resurrection is coming through hatred and pain and hurt to find love and life and living. This young man is still searching. Then, after our meeting, he wanted to see our church. We walked into the quiet church and he wept again. These tears were the tears of a loving God; tears of thankfulness for being made whole through Christ; he said, “The burden is gone and I feel so good.” I suspect that it was the first time, in a real way that he felt good about himself.

So, it is Easter. It is for Christians the day of renewal, new life, wholeness, rebirth, and for some, finding the real “me.” The real “me” is loved and has a place on heaven and on earth. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16 Jesus also said, and this is His law, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” The Gospel according to Matthew. So to this young man who came out of the darkness and into the light – love, love large, and know that you are loved. To those of dark skin who despise the color of their skin – come into the light and love and love large and know that you are loved. To the poor, you are loved and indeed specially loved. To those who are new to our country and community – Jesus demands hospitality – you are loved. It is indeed Easter. No, it is not a bunny faith, doesn’t wear bonnets, it abides deeply and it is profound. It is love; love thyself and love thy neighbor. Rejoice, the Lord is risen, the Lord is risen indeed…and so are we.

Blessed sister, holy mother, spirit of the fountain, spirit of the garden,/Suffer us not to mock ourselves with falsehood/ Teach us to care and not to care/Teach us to sit still/Even among these rocks,/Our peace in His will/ And even among these rocks/Sister, mother/And spirit of the river, spirit of the sea, Suffer me not to be separated/ And let my cry come unto Thee.

The beads still draped our old oaks. Costumes lay about the house in disarray. The day is unusually still and quiet lacking laughter, muses, and music. Some may still be pretending to continue the revelry that was Mardi Gras 2012 but that too will end; usually with two aspirins and a long sleep. The feast of Mardi Gras began simply as gatherings of people to empty their larders and consume the meats of the household – always a good occasion for fun and festivity. So it is the larder is now empty and to what end?

So many communities in New Orleans know the idea of measured time and loss. For LGBT community it is the memory and sometimes returning specter of HIV-AIDS, a gentle generation lost. For our African-American community it is a holocaust of urban violence killing more than a hundred almost two hundred young people a year because of some misguided notion of “respect.” For so many dozens of fishermen and coastal workers it is newly acquired breathing ailments and illnesses. For all of us who have stayed in New Orleans and not left since Katrina it is now settling down into some sort of chronic PTSD rife with depression and anxieties from now where.

We measure time and loss and time in New Orleans is measured by the seasons of festivals and seasons of quiet. The party, for now, is over it is time to think of time itself. Ash Wednesday is an ancient custom. We do not know when it started but it can be significant. We know in New Orleans it is as much a part of our culture as it is faith, “where ya gonna get ya ashes?”

Humility is not a strong suit in our community these days. I was recently told that it is the birth right of every gay man to be dramatic and to accessorize. My experience tells me this may be so (I say with a slight nod and smile). No, humility is not strength in our community today: not in straight community, gay world, black world or even church world. It seems that we are all so fixed on “being me” or claiming our places that we have little time for self critique. This makes sense when the world is already such a harsh critic about who and what we are even by the clothes we wear, the bars we hang at, the way we walk or talk or carry ourselves, even church liturgies. The world seems to stand in judgment so why would I want to self examine, self critique and bring any sort of negative thoughts or feelings in an intentional way into my life?

The fact is we are broken. Paraphrasing Paul, “We do those things that we wish we would not do and those things that we wish we would do we do not.” Ash Wednesday acknowledges just such a state of being. When the ashes are placed on the forehead we acknowledge that we have but a measure of time in this life. When we pray the prayers we seek some form of humility that we are no better nor worse than our brothers and sisters who inhabit this planet and that indeed we share one great thing in common – our time is measured.

Have you lost a lover, howsoever? Is he or she gone and perhaps things left unsaid? Ashes tell that story. Have you lost a child, innocent, to an errant bullet? Ashes tell that story. Have you lost a child to the streets with a “9?” Is his voice and shooting his expression? Ashes tell that story. Have you lost a loved one too early to illness and the longing still remains? Ashes tell that story. Have you lived in anger and resentment because of rejection born out of who or what you are? Ashes tell that story. Has the one you thought you loved damaged and hurt you, beaten or abused you, taken you for a ride? Ashes tell that story. Are you so much in love that you cannot imagine living without the one you love; you dread that day of ages when they may not be here; you’ve made a deal that they must die first. Ashes tell that story: “From dust you came and to dust you shall return,” the words during imposition of ashes.

Ash Wednesday is a great symbol of life and speaks to all things that are not perfect, all things hoped for, all things denied, and all things. By acknowledging that we come from dust, we acknowledge that we are part of the Big Picture, the cosmos, this earth, always and everywhere. By saying that we shall return to dust, we acknowledge that time is measured and we will continue to be a part of that Big Picture. In receiving ashes, we seek and find, just for a moment, humility and in so doing, acknowledge the value of all people and things around us and indeed our own value – without make-up or cover-up – just as we are. For just a moment, we let something else be bigger than us – call that thing GOD, call that thing ALL IN ALL. Those ashes in cruciform upon the forehead say, “I live, I love, I am who I am, I am imperfect, I have a measure of time, how shall I be?” and most importantly, “I am loved by the force of all nature – the first cause – GOD.”

All are invited, none are shunned: St. Anna’s Episcopal Church will offer the imposition of ashes at Noon, followed by Stations of the Cross at about 1:00 PM and then again, a full Solemn High Mass with imposition of ashes at 6:00 PM. Join us in humility because you are who you are and our time here is measured.

Beyond the outward trappings of Valentine’s Day, beyond the history of Valentine’s Day, at the heart of Valentine’s Day is a day set aside for mutual and intimate love. Pagan, Christian, or Secular at the heart of Valentine’s Day is the heart. Valentine’s Day is not nor should be a good excuse to wear pink, indulge in rich chocolate, or buy doily laden boxes. It should be a day that honors the sentimental heart of Alfred. For Alfred, Valentine’s day was a day honoring love and in particular, that kind of love that is written about, that kind of love that is silly, that kind of love that is abiding, that kind of love that binds two humans together so, as our Lord said, “two become one.”

The Valentine’s Day that I think of is one that bears witness to a couple. Alfred tall and odd, Stewart less tall and odd. I watched Alfred as time wore on him. He had moments of clarity and moments of solemnity but when he looked up and saw Stewart it was Valentine’s Day. For years he encouraged Stewart to receive Communion. For his own reasons Stewart did not. Then one day whilst Alfred was in bed and communion brought to him, Stewart received communion, Alfred bore witness and it was Valentine’s Day.

To this very day when a Bible Study is going on, and Stewart attends, he lugs along this tattered, old, beaten, marked, used and dog eared Bible. It was Alfred’s Bible with all of the notes and ticks of a book well read and well used. When Stewart handles it and opens it a bit Alfred opens up and a bit of Alfred moves out of those pages and into Stewart. When Alfred’s Bible is opened up it is Valentine’s Day.

As we survey the landscape and particularly the sacred landscape that is called LGBT community we can all bear witness to those deep and intimate relationships that exist, not because of a construct or social expectation. The fact is there is or was no “social expectation to provide a framework” for most in this community. Rather we bear witness to intimacy and intimate contracts between humans that say, “I will be with you forever and forever will I care” – St. Valentine’s Day lived out.

Things are changing and one can only imagine what the future of LGBT community might look like. A younger generation is loud and being heard. Many traditional churches are at long last moving toward full inclusion, not integration but acknowledgment; not accommodation but commendation; all of the sacraments for all of the people. A framework is developing and may soon be available. We can only hope that the framework is not the undoing of such natural searching for communion with other humans. We can only hope and pray those sacraments, marriage, holy union will support what already exists for many – St. Valentine’s Day lived out.

I for one, and there are many of us, simply do not understand how anyone, let alone those that claim faith, can condemn two humans utterly devoted to one another. I for one cannot believe that Jesus would condemn two humans utterly in love with each other. I for one cannot understand a world that cannot or will not embrace Alfred’s St. Valentine’s Day. It is not about pink, it is not about pretty, it is not about doilies or chocolate or cute cards or even hearts on the side of a house; it is about an old tattered Bible; it is about kindness and adoration in the eyes beholding the beloved; it is about companionship and loyalty.

Stewart and Alfred even today are the framework of and reflection of the kind of love preached and taught by our friend Jesus. Stewart and Alfred are eccentric, different, unusual, Quarter Characters, and such as they are they are the heart of St. Valentine’s Day. That we all should aspire to their model of monogamy born out of care and chastity; out of profound regard for each other; born out of deep soulful care one for the other. “And the two shall become one.”

This Valentine’s Day celebrate this kind of love. If you are yet awaiting that love celebrate those around you who now have that gift and support and applaud them. This Valentine’s Day if you have no one to receive a card buy a card set upon a mantel or table and consider Alfred and Stewart and wait with hopeful expectation and with an open heart. This Valentine’s Day know that even if you have no partner you are a partner with a God who loves you. You are part of a community that understands you. You are part of a unique and special group that supports one another. Out of this world you LGBT community, with all that is wrong, have also presented an image of all that is and can be good; not of this world but of a world to come. Blessing upon you and let this be Alfred’s Valentine’s Day feast.

SO CALLED URBAN WEAR

What follows is a litany of the victims of violence since the first of this year. In a Facebook string prompted by a most excellent man, James Patton Walsh, two sets of ideas seemed to have emerged regarding murders in New Orleans. One saying that this holocaust is a result of historical bias, historical disenfranchisement, historical poverty; the other idea is that the contemporary culture is a violent one and as such children are raised in a violent ethos; further the introduction into community of crack is also a major contributor. I would like to suggest that all are contributing facts and that there are many more factors it’s not just one thing – indeed the easy access to violent media and the use of media as a palliative for children coincide with the introduction of cheap and destructive drugs such as crack exacerbating the cultural milieu of children. Yet, that is a national phenomena and does not adequately address the local phenomena (but it does set a stage). It is equally true that the powerful voices of reconciliation and non-violence seemed to be hushed; Cornell West suggests that churches have abrogated their roles in communities that seek and must have a voice in the voiceless valleys of poverty and marginalization within the greater community. Where is our voice now? It is very likely true that a police force will have limited long term effect on New Orleans’ urban violence because of the very intimate nature of that violence; just now officials are recognizing the nature of such. Yet, that cannot be a red herring that diverts an aggressive and appropriate response. Evident and dedicated community policing is a must (because we are social creatures – these are social crimes – personal trust must be built). We must stop talking about resources for children and make it happen; funding of successful grass roots programs, church programs, and virtually any program that will take youth off the streets and present excellent modeling behavior should be of the highest priority. It seems to me that a massive shift in culture is required and that can only be engineered with massive resources efficiently delivered without a political agenda but an agenda of compassion and respect for the profoundly high value of life itself. So, read this litany; join a grass roots or local youth oriented program; share resources financially and socially. It is only we who can change this urban holocaust; we are all implicitly, if not explicitly, to blame. Equally, we can be the causal factor for change.

1/1 Harry Howard 34 M Shot Orleans

1/3 Percy Pruitt 19 M Shot Orleans

1/2 Al Williams 33 M Shot Jefferson

1/4 name withheld 34 M Shot Orleans

1/7 Michael Johnson 21 M Shot Orleans

1/7 Willie McClure 47 M Shot Orleans

1/7 Eric Robinson 41 M Shot/Burned Orleans

1/6 Keian Ester 11 M Shot Jefferson

1/8 Joseph Evans 41 M Shot Orleans

1/8 Joseph Elliot 17 M Shot Orleans

1/10 Tiffany Frey 36 F Shot Jefferson

1/10 Lamar Ellis 21 M Shot Orleans

1/12 Reyland Berry  60 M Shot Orleans

1/12 Keishuane Keppard 20 F Shot Orleans

1/12 Troy Leslie 37 M Shot Orleans

1/12 Kerry Johnson 41 M Shot Orleans

1/16 Albert Springer 61 M Shot Jefferson

1/17 Gerald Barnes Jr. 21 M Shot Orleans

1/18 Gerald Andry 49 M Shot Orleans

1/18 unidentified   M Shot Orleans

By my count 9 people were shot, including a 12 yr. old girl,  in New Orleans yesterday, January 11, in four different shootings. All survived. I continue to pray for the police, the Landrieu administration, and our neighborhood leaders to find a solution to the violence. The first step is always prayer; prayer conforms the spirit and fortifies the mind and body for action. But, “faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.” James 2:17.

The intern is Jenny Dawkins and this is what she shared with us:

“Having had a long-standing interest in visiting New Orleans, for its unique cultural, social, spiritual and historical mix (I understand I might be able to get to know this mix through music and food - both of which I love!), I came across St Anna’s on the internet. There are so many aspects of your life together which I’m excited to get to know more. Perhaps most of all, I’m inspired by the range of missions you have as a church. I look forward to seeing how the church responds to the particular situation and needs of your city – from the website, it seems such a diverse and vibrant response. I’m passionate about churches bringing and being good news to their community – which is something my sending church, St Peter’s Battersea, has also sought to do: http://www.stpetersbattersea.org.uk/ . I’ve started training for the Anglican ministry here in Cambridge after 12 years working in the voluntary sector for various charities seeking to bring justice for people living with poverty and struggle.”

Whiles St. Anna’s is the host church and will be the center of work for Jenny we invite and hope that many good folks in the Episcopal Church in Louisiana and friends of St. Anna’s will offer hospitality and support for this initiative. We believe that this is a first step in thinking and acting globally. If you wish to offer hospitality or resources please contact Fr. Bill at fr.bill@stannanola.org.

By

Maybe this year we can get a handle on murders and poverty in New Orleans; maybe. Maybe this year The National Episcopal Church will authorize same sex marriages (right now it’s up to local diocese). Maybe this year homophobia and hate will decline and tolerance and understanding will rise; maybe. Maybe this year Royal and Dauphine Streets, in Bywater and Marigny, will be paved smooth and repaired; maybe. Maybe this year a street car line will really be started on St. Claude and politics will vanish and the line will go all the way to Poland Ave! Maybe this year we won’t have a hurricane; maybe. Maybe I or you will win the big lottery; maybe. Maybe this year will just be perfect; maybe.

As unlikely as it seems a perfect year can happen even if none of the foregoing happens; even if all of the foregoing happens. It can be perfect if only fragments of our hopes and plans develop. It can be perfect. Because perfection is not found in our accomplishments. Because no matter what, we could have always done whatever it is better. Even Michelangelo, I am sure, saw the imperfections in his work. Even the best i-phone-pad-pod will not stop the occasional unanticipated delay or derailment of our schedules. Yet, it can be a perfect year.

Then, with all of this unfulfilled frenzy, what might a perfect year look like? Reconciling with an estranged friend or lover makes for a perfect year. It removes an always present darkness and adds light and life to the year that was not possible before. Such reconciliation might take some time or happen in an instant and instant of grace. Realizing that with all of our short comings and for all of our errors we have profound value. Such a realization may well come as an epiphany or an awakening. Such an epiphany would make it a perfect year with darkness and personal self loathing removed; yes that would be a perfect year. As a priest I will add that this is precisely the way Jesus wants us to know ourselves – as persons with profound value and worth. Not perfect in ourselves but nonetheless of great value.

A perfect year can be the one in which we find that “someone” in the midst of all the clutter. Not a toy or object to be consumed and thrown away but a life-long fulfillment – that “someone.” That would be a perfect year. It may be a year filled with fear, trepidation, even the occasional argument which makes for knowing one another. That type of special someone who gives you much and you need to give them much in return. Yes, that would make for a perfect year.

Maybe one is adrift and feeling alone. Look up! See the stars in heaven not as cold suns but warm harbingers of life and know that truly you are not alone. You have value even in the universe because God has crafted you with the utmost care. If you see that starscape or wonder at the sunrise and you feel a part of it all – you are not alone. In that instant, you will have a perfect year.

The perfection that I am talking about does not understand imperfection as a failure or travesty, just another aspect of who and what we are and what the world is. We live in imperfection and indeed we thrive in imperfection because when we have that instant of perfection we know it, we can see it, we can feel it, we can experience it; and it makes for a perfect year. The key is simple, have ears to hear and eyes to see. Seek those moments of perfection. Become a cause of perfection by what we do or how we respond. Seek perfection. As it was once said, “God became man so that man can become God.” Reconciliation, finding a life partner, knowing self worth and value, are only a few ways, albeit basic and fundamental ways, to have a perfect year.

Our communities must seek a perfect year because we deserve it. Both individually and as a community is it so hard to find that one person that you should reconcile with? If that is possible can we not find that one community that we should reconcile with? As a person if we seek and are blessed to find a life mate; can it be much harder to bring that sense of self sacrificing love into the open and begin to show it to the world as a way to be? If we can just see the stars at night and know that we are not alone and indeed that we have value how hard can it be to begin to see others around us as having value of being the human starscape in our communities?

So, let’s plan our year. Let’s prepare for the hectic pace of living. Let’s not reflect too much on what is past and focus on making this fractured and unfulfilled life – perfect. That, after all, is God’s hope for us all.